Free to Download, New Music Release 'Rumours'. Theme Tune For The AeroRo...

Never Give A Pilot A Camera To Take Pictures Of His Cockpit...

Never Ever Give A Pilot A Camera, Here's Why...

Just before pushback from the gate, we gave the pilots a camera. A disposable one, yes that’s right the type with a film in it that has to be developed. Like this one with the CEO of the US, Obama, on it.   

I didn’t mind asking as the Captain was super cool, as was the c-pilot and both had a great sense of humour. And no it wasn’t sexy Arlo or Capitano Grant Edwards, thank god. Because the end result was… well. I will allow the el commandante to tell the story…

******

"We were, as Telma said, given the camera before we started the flight and asked to take pictures. "

What a great idea!  Telma would have something to remember us by in the years to come. She is the nostalgic type after all. So we snapped away... the airport, the runway, other planes, us, more boring pictures, of us. It was my idea to go beyond the call of duty for Telma’s sake. So, I ordered the First Officer to unbuckle his seatbelt, turn around and moon.
And he did, the daft idiot.
So we had a reasonably focused, extreme close-up, of a surprisingly hair-free backside. I know because I’m still having disturbing flashbacks.

"The tone deteriorated from that point. "

When ATC passed on some heading instructions we paused. I then proceeded to shove the camera down the front of my trousers and took a snap of Jeremy Joystick. The First Officer did the same for his little Teddy Bear’s arm, which remained, thankfully, hidden from my view.
Being the competitive type, I spun around on my seat and exposed my co-aviator to his commander’s ass. (He no longer works for the airline and I’m sorry if this exposure to my ace in the hole was the root cause of his departure.)

With schoolboy grins we gave the camera back to Telma before top of descent because we were about to get busy. Busy worrying.

We’d taken pictures of our faces. Our butts were readily identifiable, they could be matched! By now the stress was reaching dangerous levels in the cockpit and we finally cracked when the co-jo blurted out, "what if she gives the camera to her mother to develop?"

It was time to focus and get this bird on the ground where we could come up with a plan.

During the turnaround, we all gravitated to the centre of the empty aircraft cabin where the entire crew took a quick breather before the next flight home.

We’d decided that the First Officer would make the move.

Telma thanked us for taking the camera.
“No problem, a great idea,” said the co-jo. “And tell you what. Give me the camera, and I'll pay for it to be developed.”
Telma looked confused.
“That way I can double up on the prints, and perhaps even blow some up,” he said. The thought terrified me.
Telma frowned. “I don’t have the camera guys, it wasn’t mine. It belonged to one of the passengers…”

Free To Download, New Release From Krafted Riddim Records And Author Telma Cortez

Krafted Riddim Records are delighted to provide the music for Telma Cortez and her AeroRomance Series of books. 
The author and flight attendant unzips the love life of her aviation world and while Cortez, the characters and her airline remain anonymous, she opens doors to us previously closed to all but the airline crew themselves. From pilots to flight attendants, commercial passengers to biz jet executives, high altitude love will leave you wanting more. With 5 Short AerRomance Stories online at Amazon, as well as Cortez other works, she aims to produce at least two a month. 

A new video edit of the AeroRomance Series features the latest release from Krafted Riddim Records, 'Rumours' and is available for free download here: https://soundcloud.com/krafted-riddims/07-rumours




The British Reggae Industry Awards Organisation (BRIA): Voted as the top 5 in Best UK Reggae Band Category for 2012 along with Aswad, Steel Pulse and UB40. They are performing at the awards night in London's O2 on 21 Feb.

Krafted Riddim Records is an Independent Irish Record Label, set up to nurture, publish and promote original UK and Irish reggae.

New AeroRomance Series launched

The love lives of Cortez’ crew in the AeroRomance Series© have more ups and downs than your average Boeing. 

You will never look at your flight attendant in the same way again as you wonder if that lady taking care of you is the clandestine author of the successful stories revealing the love lives of the aviation world in the AeroSexual Series© and now the AeroRomance Series. As for the rest of the crew, are they characters from the books? 
Of course, Telma Cortez is not her real name, nor is VisionAire her real airline, but most of her adventures and the characters in them are based on real life aviators. As we follow them on exotic nightstops, and at times relive the birth of their flying careers, we learn that the ‘Theater in the Sky’ is unique and so are the soaring romances that also crash and burn on that high velocity stage. 
For now Cortez is exclusive to Amazon, but her stories are for everyone, whether Mile High is your thing or not.